Reverting

Oh, woe is me.
Woest of the woedoms. Woe-ful, in fact.
Woe.
Woe.
Woe.

I'm saddened, desolate, and - at the very least - annoyed.

Woe, I say.

Picture if you will the Aubrey of the past few days. The Aubrey of over-worked-dom that, yes, I've mentioned on many an occasion here. The Aubrey of dogged determination, Herculean strength, house-cleaning rampageness that has allowed me to even justify breaking nearly every fingernail in the pursuit of getting the house ready for my NewRoommate. Picture me falling into bed at 1am for the past two nights, surrounded my insane amounts of clothing and whatnot, feet dirtied, legs bruised, arms sore from hauling all of my respective shite up into the attic and down into the third bedroom. Picture my usually well-coiffed hair (ok, moderately well-coiffed) in awry in Medusa-esque tendrils while I dripped with sweat in the late July Georgia heat as I cleaned the garage, the third bedroom, preparing for NewRoommate to move in while I was gone being Aubrey, Intercontinental. Pre Aubrey, Intercontinental was Aubrey, Roommate-Preparer.

And all for naught.

Excuse me if I vent here for a second, but I am now Aubrey, Enraged. Ask any ex of mine what happens when I do my Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde transformation into Aubrey, Enraged, and they'll let you know that keeping your distance is a fabulous suggestion.

So NewRoommate, or as we shall heretofore call him, The Artist Formerly Known as NewRoommate, or TAFKAN for short, came over this evening. We had discussed the logistics -- he would be renting out the upstairs room and wanted to put some of his furniture (loveseat & sofa) in the downstairs bedroom. Since the upstairs bedroom is/was currently furnished with a bed, dresser, and desk, these pieces would have to relocate to the downstairs bedroom. As such, I hauled the bed and the dresser downstairs, leaving ample room for a loveseat, a sofa and an entertainment center. (I even put my dresser IN THE CLOSET to accommodate more space for TAFKAN.) Logical, no? Apparently not according to TAFKAN. Oh no. TAFKAN wanted more.

So Aubrey, Roommate-Preparer, is diligently sweeping out the garage this evening when TAFKAN arrives as scheduled, albeit 15 minutes late. Excited about the MAMMOTH progress I have made, I ushered TAFKAN into the downstairs room, where I have masterfully set up the bed and masterfully prepped the room for anything that needed to be stored or set up downstairs. TAFKAN looks less than pleased. You see, apparently, when we discussed the logistics of renting out A ROOM, TAFKAN heard that I would be renting out A BEDROOM, A BATHROOM, and ALSO A FULL OTHER EMPTY ROOM FOR HIM TO SET UP AS AN ENTERTAINMENT CENTER ROOM. And in TAFKAN's world, the presence of my spare bed did not fit.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but if I do not put the spare bed in the spare bedroom, where exactly would I put it? Please correct me if I'm wrong, but when someone rents out a room in a furnished townhouse, they are renting out a bedroom, a bathroom, and the use of the common area. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but do you not think it's ASKING TOO MUCH to expect the owner of the house to find a NEW PLACE for her FURNISHINGS while you bring ALL of your furniture (which could easily stay at your parents' house, where it is currently residing) so you can just set up an EXTRA room TO YOUR SPECIFICATIONS?

There's a name for what TAFKAN was looking for, and it is called AN UNFURNISHED APARTMENT.

As such, Aubrey is again Sans Roommate. Again Sans Money. Has returned to the land of Destitution.

Please make out all gifts, checks, and wishlist items to Aubrey McBrokeBroke Destitutio. I'm pursuing a legal name change as we speak.

Comments

[Kelly]

We always tried to tell you that you had too much stuff!!! Just kidding. Good luck with the search. You are better off without him, remember the last random male roommate you had???

[moniker]

that picture of Katie on the left should make you feel better. That's classic.

[Paris]

Awww woe is you! I would be just as pissed off as you are right now. I don't get how this dude would think that the home owner would give him more space than they had. Good Luck once again and hopefully your stay in "Broke-Ass Land" won't last as long as mine. I think the only good thing was that somehow the booze was free. :)

[helenjane]

You weren't suppposed to live with him.
Like Kelly said, you're better off without him.

Aack. Good luck!

[philip]

hey, hey...i remembered how to spell your name - a 1st for me. neat page.

it was good seeing you tonight. keep in touch.