Advice

For $15, I received much more than my long-awaited haircut at Great Clips. I received the wisdom of the ages.

Jennifer, the sassy chocolate-skinned hairdresser who resembled Jacquee of "227" fame in both vernacular and appearance, imparted her invaluable words of wisdom upon this willing student. Openly shocked that at 8:30pm my hair could - and did - remain wet 12 hours after I showered (apparently a talent she had never seen before in her many years of beautifying clients all over Atlanta), she first inquired if I was a martian.

Never a good sign from the woman who I was entrusting with my tresses.

After affirming that, to the best of my knowledge, I was born in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, not Mars, she happily informed me that she was just "playin' around with [me]."

Astute, she clearly was.

Jennifer was a jovial sort, chattering to herself as she chopped my coif into a quasi-layered mop (which I hope lies flatter upon drying it tomorrow morning), she then turned to the essential hairdresser-client topic du jour: my love life.

Asking if I had "found [me] a husband yet", Jennifer was stricken when I divulged that no, I hadn't and yes, I was over 25. She was honestly aghast, this 42-year old single woman, and said, I kid you not, the following sentence:

"Girl, you're getting up there, you'd best start praying to the Good Lord that he brings a man into your life. And SOON!"

She furthered this statement by saying that if I found myself still single at age 28, I may as well move to New York (where she apparently believes there exists a bevy of available men) and read the book "Date Like a Man" (apparently an Oprah favorite.)

"Sugar," she said, "It took me a long time and finally I found a man, so you'd best get started now. There's no time to wait, you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life. Seriously, honey, I started praying, asking God to bring me a few men into my life - I wanted a choice, you know - and I got me some. You should start today."

Oh. Silly me. I've been going about this all wrong. Instead of enjoying my life, going through the daily trials and tribulations, the heartaches, the headaches, the love and the laughter, all of which helping to further teach me who I am and what I want, I should have just been sitting around, praying to God for a husband.

It all makes sense now.

"It's hard out there by yourself. No fun, you know? I mean, you can hang out with your girlfriends but that gets old. You need a man," advised this Beautician-cum-Dr. Phil.

A-ha! No more should I enjoy Aubrey, Intercontinental (which, incidentally, was fabulous), no more should I cavort and camaraderize with my galpals at Bachelorette parties, getting boys to sign my thigh or rate my rack (I'm still appaled by the 7.5 rating and demand a recount!), and spending the weekend with a few of my favorite people. Instead, I should be more devout and more clear in my wants. I should be finding me a man.

Now don't take this as a critique on prayer. On the contrary, actually. I pray every night for the good will and safety of my friends, families, and even foes, asking God for direction and to help guide me in the path that I've yet to conclude whether or not is predetermined. However, to solely rely on the power of prayer to complete me, as she implied, is folly at its very core. Life, and love, are what you make of it. There's a quote that says "There is fate, but it only takes you so far, because once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen.", a mantra in which I firmly believe. Sitting around and waiting for my life to happen is like saying you're hungry and waiting for food to appear in front of you, without ever bothering to cook it or order it at a restaurant.

I refuse to be a passive observer in my life. If I want something, I go for it, be it a job, a guy, or even the last bag of Mini-Oreos in our office kitchen. (Which I got, incidentally.) Success without strife, reward without effort, is bittersweet at best. How would one know the feeling of sunshine without ever feeling the dampness of rain?

In the future, I believe I'll take my advice from others, though I think I got a pretty damn good deal on a haircut.

Comments

[paris]

I am glad you don't believe anything she said. I am glad that you live life to the fullest and I am glad that you, like me, enjoy having a body part signed and your rack rated and still stand strong as a single woman. Aubrey, you a prime example of the "Perfect Kick-ass Girl".

[cw]

Yeah, God doesn't have much else going on, I'm sure he's anxious to host his own dating service.

You should've told her you've been praying for a really good vibrator. I'm guessing you would've gotten an "Oooooo, giiiirrrrrlll".

[Jason]

I've got to agree with Aubs... you can't sit around and wait for life to happen to you, you've got to go out and make life happen.

[aubs]

OK - let me say this right now. Whoever you are who is leaving frighteningly inappropriate and inane comments on this site, they WILL be deleted. It's a waste of your time.

[Stanley]

It's hard to follow your warning to the frighteningly inappropriate and inane commentor; but I'll try...

I don't know you well enough to know how hard you're looking or how much you feel you really miss a man... but I suspect if you began praying for Gods help she/he (don't want to offend anyone) would lead you in the direction of the church to find someone.

I suppose it's all a matter of what you'll settle for, but from what sense I do get of you I suspect you have every reason to settle high and keep tossing aside the ones who impressed you more when you met them, than when you awoke with them only as an imprinted signature on your thigh.

[Yo' Mama]

Why not do both? Go ahead and live your life to the fullest, while still asking God to send you wonderful guy. Just a thought!