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October 08, 2003

Comments

Paris

I had the same problem with a friend. On one hand when she was in a good mood, she was a blast to hang out with, but when she was in a bad mood, which once lasted 3 weeks, she totally sucked the life out of me and just made me depressed. I wish I had some great advice about how I got out of the friendship to tell you, but I don't, and she is still my friend. I have tried to just put this past us, but I am not sure for how much longer I can do this. So if you figure out how to do it, please share!

Ditch the Bitch

Sometimes a "friend's" true colors take a while to come out and because you are a good friend and want to see the good in everyone it is hard for you to make a clean break. But you have to look out for numero uno so I think the best bet when you find yourself in this situation is to gradually back off and just say no to being around that person.

joe

or you could just tell her to read your site and you were talking about her...easy, simple, d-u-n!!!

Sarah

Ahhh, you sing it so well. My oldest best friend forwarded this to me this morning...we're both having some issues like this with other separate friends. Yet for me lately it seems I'm pulling out my checklist on fair weather friends alot more often. Yes, they've provided me with good times and some comfort, but I see myself growing away from maybe who they really are or who I don't want to be and alot I'm finding; are really selfish. And you try and tell them this, sometimes they hear it, sometimes they don't know...and you put in so much effort and struggle with it. And being yourself for that matter is a struggle enough, will it make you a better person not to have them in your life you wonder? Then who do you turn to when the chips are down after they have faded? It is tough. People come and go. I always think of this poem a friend gave me years ago, ironically our paths were entertwined for quite sometime, but they continued on in different directions eventually...it's title is "A reason, a season, a lifetime..." It basically states that people are in your life for "a reason, a season, a lifetime..." and for whatever reason it is they are there, or need it is they will fullfill, eventually it may come to an end when their job is done or will grow and flourish with you as you both grow and give to one another.

Regardless, be thankful I guess for the times you shared and the ways they inspired your life. If blatant, but soft honesty doesn't work (because chances are, they may not even know they are being the way they are and it's affecting you this way and hopefully the friendship can be saved) then move on and remember the good times.

I will try and post this poem next week though, it's very inspiring and has helped me alot.

Stanley

I’m not sure you can really break up with a friend any more than you could put the reasons you dislike a person completely out of your mind. Inside your head you’ll always have the lingering memory of the good times. The best you can do it put some space between you and them and hope it doesn’t affect your relationships and opportunities to continue to be yourself with your other friends.

Sarah

here is the poem or "thoughts" I mentioned last week. Enjoy.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime...When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a
need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They
may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at
an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand...What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow,
or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something
you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy..Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season..

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have
a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (any way); and
put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is
clairvoyant..

Thank you for being a part of my life......

Krista

i just wanted to say thank you for posting that poem. It is so truthful for the situation i am in right now with my friend. Except she didn't really get it, partly because we are two different people, who havce 2 different views on things.. Anyways i loved it, thank you!

darla

Breaking up gives you this feeling of nagging pain. When you remember the good times, you feel as if your chest's being teared apart - from the inside. And there's really nothing you can do about it in that exact moment you'd want to make the pain go away. You'll need time.

Amy

I just broke up with a friend of 13 years last night. That poem helps. She was self absorbed and sucking the life out of me. The conversation started out ok but she just kept bringing it around to her and i lost it and hung up. She leaves for Austrailia for 4 months today.

Just wanted to share. I am coming to terms with it as best i can and do feel it's for the best.

But thank you for the poem...Stumbled across this quite by accident...

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