Hands Tied

One of the hardest things to deal with in life is pain.

Not necessarily your pain, but the pain of others.

Hearing them upset, seeing them cry, and feeling completely helpless to offer any solace or aid.

You want to make it all go away, and you can't.

Just as death is a part of life, pain is a part of happiness. We all have to go through rough times to come out victorious, to see where we've been and to see how far we've come. It's hard - sometimes even feeling impossible.

I hate this feeling, this feeling of helplessness, not being able to soothe someone who is hurting so openly. I can offer kind words, hugs, some laughter, but I can't remove the pain like I'd like to. It eats away at her, at me, making us both question why we have to go through this. The only consolation is that we're going through this together.

I still don't feel like that's enough.

I consider myself someone who can give good advice, a calm voice in the storm. I can offer direction, reasoning, and inspirational words.

I still don't feel like that's enough.

At 26, I'm not weathered, I'm not seasoned - hell, if there is a block, I not only have NOT been around it, but barely noticed the sidewalk. I'm naive in some instances, thinking and wishing the best on others, on my friends, on my family. I want to believe that the world is generally a good place, with good people, that do the right thing. Yet going through this, seeing this pain, this raw feeling of sadness, ages me. Makes me wise to heartbreak and loss and disappointment and a feeling of responsibility for it all that you just can't shake.

Time mends all wounds - at least that's what they say. I've offered this advice, however trite it may seem, reassurance that it WILL get better, that it WILL get easier, that one day, the pain WILL finally go away. I hope I'm convincing in this adage, since I truly want to believe that it WILL. If this tenet is false, well, my foundation erodes away.

Harold S. Kushner wrote the famous book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People." In it, he tries to make amends with the everyday tragedies that we all face, offering solace and advice and reason behind it all. And at the very core, my stubborn streak emerges, questioning WHY bad things have to happen to good people, why this has to happen to us, and why we have to go through it.

Hindsight is 20/20 - I hope that one day I'll look back on this and know that we got through it together, and that we're better for having done so.

God, I hope this is the case.

Comments

[Paris]

Aubrey I don't know what it is exactly that you are going through, but whatever it is, I hope it passes soon and the pain goes away.